Reflections for Parents at Orientation

August 26, 2011

Introduction:

We take seriously the trust that you have placed in us and look forward to partnering with you in the lives of your sons and daughters in the days ahead. We approach this task confident of the Guidance of the Holy Spirit and believing that God is at work in the lives of your sons and daughters because they are, first of all, God’s project. (See Ephesians 2:8-10) We also know that God is committed to bringing His good work to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).

For today, I will focus on practical advice based on the letters of the word “Release.” I think this is a good word picture for today. You have invested in your sons and daughters for nearly 20 years. Today, you are letting them go in a new way. You are invited to release them.

So, the words:

  1. RECOGNIZE the change that today represents. This is one of life’s major transitions. It is not embarrassing to feel some concern or uncertainty.
  2. EMBRACE this change, rather than be bound by fear or panic. While it may be unnerving at first, this moment will open up new opportunities for relating to your sons and daughters as adults.
  3. LET GO. Trust the Process. Don’t try to fix things for them. Think with them about strategies for addressing their concerns by themselves in this new setting. Help them to take responsibility for themselves.
  4. EXPECT frustrations. This IS the real world. All stages of growth are uncomfortable at first. It might be the roommate. It might be the class schedule. It might be a professor. It might be the first exam. Frustrations WILL come. . .
  5. AFFIRM their adulthood in those moments. Don’t assume that they have the whole story—or fully understand the situation at the moment. Help them put things in perspective. Help them face consequences. Then help them strategize about how to grow from these frustrations.
  6. SAFETY NET. There is a safety net here. We are organized and intentional about seeing your sons and daughters become whole and responsible adults. Call if you need to. But know that we will get your sons and daughters involved as appropriate. We cannot “fix” everything either “without letting them know.” Dr. Sharra Hynes, our Vice President for Student Life, would be the person to contact if you need some help in knowing what to do next.
  7. ENCOURAGE your sons and daughters to seek out our faculty, especially early in the semester, if they are struggling, or even if they are not. Encourage them in all the places where you see them succeeding and growing into responsible adults!

Finally—Pray for them, and for us.

Shirley A. Mullen
President