Elmore, Tim.  Mentoring: How to Invest Your Life in Others.  Singapore: Campus Crusade Asia Limited, 2001.

Tim Elmore, a former pastor, is Vice President of EQUIP, a ministry founded by Dr. John Maxwell, and President of GrowingLeaders.com.

Elmore's book begins with these two definitions of mentoring:

            "Mentoring is a relational experience through which one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources." --Paul Stanley and Robert Clinton  (16)

            "Mentoring is a brain to pick, a shoulder to cry on, and a kick in the seat of the pants." 

            --John C. Crosby (17)

Elmore also summarizes the strengths and weaknesses of what females and males typically bring to the mentoring process:

            women: an openness of feelings, a keen interest in relationship building, a proclivity to  talk through issues, attention to detail, empathy, and holistic thinking (34)

            men: careful thought, an emphasis on results/"doing," seeing "the big picture," problem solving, and categorical thinking (34)

Mentors are reminded that "God shapes mentees in a crockpot, not a microwave oven." (47)  Because mentoring is so process-oriented, mentors are encouraged to give careful thought to how they establish the mentor-mentee relationship (including the signing of a covenant), things to pay particular attention to when beginning and ending the formal mentor-mentee relationship, and ways to evaluate the mentor-mentee relationship periodically.

Elmore explains the following qualities of a good mentor: initiative, intimacy, influence, integrity, identity, and inner character (85-86).  Also helpful are the "Ten Commandments of Mentoring":

              1.  Thou shalt not play God.

              2.  Thou shalt not play Teacher.

              3.  Thou shalt not play Mother or Father.

              4.  Thou shalt not lie with your body.

              5.  Active listening is holy time and thou shalt practice it at every session.

              6.  Thou shalt be nonjudgmental.

              7.  Thou shalt not lose heart because of repeated disappointments.

              8.  Thou shalt practice empathy, not sympathy.

              9.  Thou shalt not believe that thou can move mountains.

            10. Thou shalt not envy thy neighbor's protégé, nor thy neighbor's success.

In this book, mentors can find helpful tips on how to go about meeting the goal of accountability, the importance of confidentiality, and the necessity of specific goal setting.  Also covered are elements of effective communication (including asking good questions and following up on them), common pitfalls to avoid in mentor-mentee relationships, the importance of praying regularly and specifically for the mentee as well as for the mentor-mentee relationship, and how to cast a vision for spiritual reproduction: i.e., for your mentee to become a mentor/mentee during or soon after the closure of your mentor-mentee relationship.  Moreover, mentors are introduced to five key metaphors describing what mentor can give a mentee: handles, roadmaps, laboratories, roots, and wings (77-80).

Another helpful acronym outlined for the mentor is "PROVIDER":

              P--Purposeful

              R--Relational

              O--Objective

              V--Vulnerable

              I--Incarnational

              D--Dependable

              E--Empowering

              R--Resourceful  (177-78)

Perhaps most helpful to this specific reviewer was the section entitled "Twelve Factors in Mentoring/Disciplemaking," based on the example of Jesus:

              1.  Initiative (Luke 6:12-13)

              2.  Proximity (Mark 3:14/Luke 8:1)

              3.  Friendship (John 15:15)

              4.  Example (John 13:15)

              5.  Commitment (Matthew 16:24/John 13:1)

              6.  Responsibility (Mark 6:7)

              7.  Knowledge (Luke 8:9-10)

              8.  Vision (Matthew 4:19/John 9:35)

              9.  Trust (Matthew 10:1-8)

            10. Evaluation (Luke 10:17-24)

            11.  Power (John 20:22/Acts 1:8)

            12. Launch (Matthew 28:18-20)  (162)

In sum, the book provides a general overview of the mentor-mentor relationship, using several lists to orient mentors and mentees to qualities and values foundational to a healthy and productive mentoring experience.

Dr. Laurie Dashnau